JOKE

"Waiter, why is there a button in my salad"?
"It is from the jacket potato, Sir".

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FACT

At birth, a panda is smaller than a mouse and weighs about 4 ounces.

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JOKE

How does an alien shave?

with a laser blade.

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SOLDIER FREDDY

Soldier Freddy was never ready but soldier Neddy, unliked Freddy was always ready and steady.
Thats why,when soldier Neddy is-outside-Buckingham-Palace-on-guard-in-the-pouring-wind-and-rain-being-steady-and-ready,
Freddy-is home in beddy.